Mr Darcy Dating Tips, Be Your Own Psychologist
Welcome to our sparkling, intelligent new dating column. Darcy, our eternal love quest has a very clever maiden aunt at Seventy Thirty, the super exclusive dating agency in London’s Knightsbridge. What Aunt Catherine doesn’t know about love and matchmaking isn’t worth tea for two at Fortnum and Mason’s. So, we tagged along for an audience with Ms C to soak up the very best tips on how to go from single and lovelorn to happily ensconced. Of course, Darcy was more interested in her first edition of Byron. But why resort to chance when it comes to a matters of love? When you can consult a matchmaker par excellence and become the one everyone wants to know and fall truly, madly,deeply in love with?
Here’s to a sparkling love life Hedonistas!
Applying psychology to different social situations in our everyday lives can help us to better understand family and friendships, work, relationships and feelings around intimacy. A great place to start being your own psychologist is to use it to eliminate your insecurities. Even insecurities you’ve held on to for years don’t have to remain with you, as long as you deal with the source.
Think and Act Positively
Learn to think and speak differently. Don’t put yourself down, find another way to converse. It’s not automatically your job to fill awkward pauses in a conversation or provide amusement. When you fall into self-critical thoughts, note them. Once you’re aware of them, make a conscious effort to change them into positive thoughts, by thinking about something you like about yourself.
Cultivate Positive, Happy People
Avoid people who sap your self-esteem, either by putting you down or by building themselves up so much that you feel inferior. Instead, mix with people who believe in themselves, and are secure enough to let you do the same.
Try not to judge yourself by the things you can’t control or lack; instead, focus on what’s going on internally. Try to reset your expectations and set yourself new challenges. For example, if you feel shy, join a reading group or some other type of activity that will let you ease more into social interaction.
Walk Tall, and Be Happy
Look and act confident. It really is true that feeling good about yourself on the inside will make you feel great on the outside. Small changes can give you that extra boost to your self-esteem. Use positive body language to appear more confident. Stand tall, be happy and approachable, be confident to take up space in your environment. Keep an open and approachable posture and work to identify habits you display when you’re nervous, like fidgeting. Once we are aware, we can consciously fix these.
Smile and Notice the Difference
Fake it until you make it! Research has shown that smiling can have a positive effect on your body and mood, whether it is a real or fake smile, since your brain doesn’t know the difference. Therefore, by making a conscious effort to smile more, not only will you be more approachable, you will have the added benefit of feeling good.
Confidence is All
When someone is confident within themselves, they transform the energy in the room. We are drawn to them; we want to be their friend, to talk to them AND most importantly, to date them. In the world of dating, confidence is essential and although you may have to manufacture some of this to start with, once you embrace the new and confident you, you will believe it and begin to live it.
Next time: Put your best self forward: How to improve your image
About Seventy Thirty
Seventy Thirty – Founded at the beginning of this century, the first exclusive matchmaking company built on a relationship psychology model, providing the quintessential, world class matchmaking service to a sophisticated and particular clientele.
Seventy Thirty Members are high net-worth individuals from a variety of unique backgrounds, nationalities, lifestyles, industries, all with different relationship aspirations, and of course of all ages. “They come to us, the experts, as they share a desire for a partner and a committed long-term relationship. Our Members value discretion and expect a top level of service in exclusive matchmaking, as they do in all the other aspects of their affluent lives.” To find out more – www.seventy-thirty.com