Ethical Hedonist Astrology
Horoscope by Victor Olliver
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March 21-April 20
Are you entirely fit for purpose? This is the big question in April, because much is going in your life to re-purpose you, or to improve your performance in the pursuit of a purpose. This is not just to do with career interests. Just about anything in your life is up for review because you’ve noticed of late that you’re not hitting all your targets – one of your nuts (ahem) needs tightening, perhaps. The good news is that the cosmos is on your side and it comes with a spanner around mid-month as Mercury moves direct and a restless New Moon occurs in Aries: yes, power struggles with authority figures are indicated but you can vanquish opponents and nitwits by avoiding face-to-face confrontation over everything. Instead, select one matter to fight on and focus just on that. In getting the better of one situation, you have a head start over other issues which can be fought another day. Be clever!
April 21-May 21
I wonder if you fully realise what’s coming. Probably not – that’s why it’s just as well you’re reading this. There’s nothing to fear, unless you’re a scaredy-cat, which you can’t be because you’re a Bull. What’s coming is that revolutionary Uranus is about to enter Taurus and will stay there till 2026. This event takes place in May 2018, but already you feel a surge of excitement, the sense of new things ahead – all requiring a greater degree of independence. Life is asking you to re-think the image, perhaps lose that pink stripe in the hair which looked cute once, and also to travel ‘light’, which in practice means tie yourself down as little as possible: keep options open in all things and avoid making commitments for now. Enjoy this month as a preparation, as if you’re going to the biggest party ever. It’s not necessary to know what all this means in actuality, only to relish imminent liberation.
May 22-June 21
Are you the only one awake? Did certain others take a long vacation and forget to buy the return ticket? That’s how April starts for you. There’s no question that you’re having to take a long hard look at certain associations – in business or with an organisation – and investigate whether you need to start over. All may not be quite as bad as you think come ruler Mercury’s move direct from the 15th: thereafter, the ‘silence’ ends, the immobility of others ceases, as life starts to pick up – either news from others arrives at long last or you decide to trade-in the clapped-out jalopy for a newer model vehicle that can carry your intentions and dreams. You need to be certain that you’re doing business with the right people – April is the month when you find out for certain. You may just discover that the right people are in your life and that you had to give them time to get their act ready!
June 22-July 22
So many Crabs are on the move, scuttling to new career adventures, hot desking or repositioning themselves within workplaces after tussles with bosses or colleagues. The fact is you’ve tired of old faces and places. In marine terms, the established coral reef is (to paraphrase from Monty Python’s parrot sketch) “Bereft of life, it rests in peace! If you hadn’t nailed it to the ocean floor it’d be pushing up the seaweed! Its metabolic processes are now ‘istory! It’s off the crabs! It’s kicked the bucket….” Well, it feels that way in any case. New Moon mid-month is a marker for a new professional resolution either to make a change or start the process of change – other people are the main problem. You need not give up what you’ve got. The real challenge could to make the most of the devil you know. Remember that Cancer’s genius is reading people.
July 23-August 23
This month, you’re reminded that it’s perfectly possible to have fun even when the going gets tough at work. It’s the pace of things that’s likely to prove testing, with three heavy planets in your chart house of work which will be pressing on you to deliver and fast. But heavenly Venus provides the fun bit because in between the slog is the schmoozing (and perhaps the boozing) which will help oil the professional wheels – don’t underestimate the extent to which people can be won over after hours and informally, generating goodwill in the office or other workplace. Restlessness in you remains intense as Uranus approaches the end of Aries in your chart house of new challenges, but to be honest either give this theme a rest this month or prepare for opposition. With some patience, fresh fields can be discovered another time.
August 24-September 22
Your taste for peculiar things could get a little out of hand in April – which is not like Virgo at all. You’re normally the sensible one. Behind this aberration is a great need to wallow in novelty and new things, though your own peculiarity could emerge in what it is that gives you pleasure. While your averagely venal person might attend the odd orgy or shoot up an illegal substance, your own depravity may extend to reading a long history book and neglect other things (such as applying sealant to bath or sink wall borders – yawn!), deciding to go on a course to better understand Facebook’s algorithms – another yawn! – or (more promising, this) making a spontaneous visit to Bhutan to consult a monk-astrologer on your love life. With ruler Mercury moving direct mid-month in Aries, there’s a very high probability that you decide to do something very, very different from the norm. When people cross the road to avoid talking to you, you’ll know that you’re on an exciting new path.
September 23-October 23
If there’s a love life, then warn the neighbours. You don’t want to trigger a noise abatement order from your local council or upset poor old neighbour Mrs Muggins, 89, who may be hard of hearing yet can hear a pin drop if this precedes sexual activity. But astrology is not about fixed certainties. Another possibility this month is that spending goes crazy. The mere existence of a high price tag could persuade you make a purchase, just because it’s there dangling in front of you. Please, be sensible. What you’re trying to do is forget about the boring old hoo-ha either at home or with friends or partner(s) – someone is opposed to one of your plans and my goodness you’re prepared to put your foot down. The truth is, you’ll soon be on the move again – which could mean new friends, new lover, new representatives, even a new house. The word you like most in that last sentence is ‘new’. Fickle Libra is readying for (new) conquest.
October 23-November 22
Quite a divide in your chart between hedonism and toil. It’s so typical of Scorpio to go to the extreme in all the things you do, and April is one of those months (when people you know touch their temples when they mention the topic of you). Now, this is not to suggest that you’re unbalanced or anything like that. It’s just that you over-focus on each and everything of interest – so in the time ahead you’re either partying like Jagger of old or working all hours and neglecting poor little pussy or doggy at home. For goodness sake, moderate. If you obsess over a work situation, prepare for quite a contrary reaction; you really will put people’s backs up. Towards the end of April you’re in a stronger position to make your mark on certain people’s minds as an inner passion surfaces. Any difficult idea or project can then be forced through.
November 23-December 21
Money is uppermost in your head, as if you’re broke! But you’re not, you’re just worrying too much. Nonetheless three power planets in chart house of income cannot be ignored, and recently you’ll have started a new project or gone back to an abandoned one in order to re-generate loot. In general terms, ruler Jupiter is supportive of your materialist endeavours, though from a chart house that requires both scruple and discretion. For a quite a while now, you’ve been undergoing a spiritual metamorphosis, and it’s up to you on whether you emerge from this phase resembling a mouldy moth or beautiful butterfly. Let your thoughts think beyond the usual limits, think big, and this will help shape your actions and decisions. Petty, fear-driven thinking is the one to watch. Can you watch yourself with greater care so that you rise to the level of new aspirations? Of course you can. You don’t need a mirror.
December 22-January 20
It’s a mystery why Capricorns are thought to be incapable of fun. After all, David Bowie was a Cappie. Stephen Hawking – he could be quite a laugh despite severe incapacity. And Kate Moss! The ultimate party animal. She’s a Cappie. This is not necessarily a month of parties – the omens are more interesting than that. The life area demanding indulgence is all that’s touched by your heart – be this your kids, a creative project, a romance, hobby, what have you. Actually, it’s your celebration of being alive that’s seeking recognition. After a long period hidden away, you’re emerging ready to display, though it’s entirely up to you to decide what this means in practice. Three power planets in Capricorn bestow you the push and the energy to propel this new version of yourself into the world, and don’t think the path ahead is without challenges. There’s still a home/family issue to deal with. But look: when was life perfect? Shimmer in your talents.
January 21-February 19
The one frustration in your life at present is that there’s so much you can’t talk about. And why? To answer that one, we’d be here for the rest of the week. But there are reasons, and only you know what they are. It’s essential that you operate below the radar, disguising your intent, veiling your destination. Normally, this is the case when one is preparing something and you don’t want rivals to know your secrets – they might steal them from you. Being an Aquarius, keeping your mouth shut is not easy. The wind from your mouth is a permanent sou’westerly. Paradoxically, New Moon mid-month heralds a new phase in your communications to be more upfront with people. But what’s ‘upfront’? Perhaps tell people what they need to know and leave the rest to time. This won’t be easy. But it’s the way to go.
February 20-March 20
Are you ready to beguile your world with sweet words, disarming smiles and entrancing endearments? No, did you say? Oh dear, we’ll have to change that. Charmer Venus occupies your chart house of communications – instinct most probably will incline you to flirt and flatter in your pursuit of personal ends, but in case you’re a little out of tune with the cosmos, listen carefully: you will win by delighting the world, not by telling it the unvarnished truth. It’s not that Pisces is a liar but the two fishes of your sign are swimming in opposite directions, and Pisceans are adept at jumping currents to get to their spawning ground. This could get out of hand: bald-faced mendacity is not recommended; but there are many ways to describe a wart (“nothing but nature’s beauty spot, untouched by pencil or other artifice”). Focus keenly on the words you use, and attend to one’s beauty: the seller is you. Be a responsible trollop.
Victor Olliver is editor of The Astrological Journal, flagship magazine of the Astrological Association. He can be contacted via: Volliver5@gmail.com.