Best life strategy – invest in love.
This week, Lemarc Thomas, our top love and relationship guru, discusses the importance of love in making us happier, healthier and wealthier.
Being in the business of Love for the last 6 years, I have gained many insights whilst matchmaking and coaching prominent figures around the world. And sometimes it’s the simplest insights that are most powerful – Healthy, good relationships are most important in life.
I work with people who have the lives most dream of – resources, lifestyle, prestige.
I have met huge ambition. But what I have learnt from my clients is that we must be more ambitious about connection. You can achieve fulfilment from great professional accomplishments; but true happiness comes when you have warm relations to share life with.
Happines is Love. Full Stop.
People with better quality relationships live longer, are happier, healthier (and even earn more money). It excites me that after 75 years of research, this is what Harvard University concluded. George Vaillant, who directed the research for more than three decades until 2003, put it simply, “Happiness is Love. Full stop.
Like my clients, I think you will agree that relationships are more important but often take second place to professional dreams, aspirations, or to other life demands that become more pressing. “There’s a work thing I need to attend to, so I have to bail on our plans tonight, I know you’ll understand.” “Darling, can’t chat now, gotta run, busy busy busy…”
The beauty is that this is so simple. If you want to look back at life from your rocking chair and feel the warm tingle of life satisfaction, you must invest time in your relationships now. Be ambitious about connection.
In his Ted talk, the 4th program director of the Grant and Gleuk study said that there were three main findings:
Social Connections are Good for Health, Especially Mental Health
“The first is that social connections are really good for us, and that loneliness kills.”
“The second is that it’s not about the number of friends that we have or whether or not you’re in a committed relationship, but it’s the quality of your close relationships that matters” (sic).
“And the third big lesson that we learned about relationships and our health is that good relationships don’t just protect our bodies, they protect our brains”.
It makes sense, we are social animals built to be in groups – our innate desire to love and be loved gives us evolutionary advantage; keeps us protected; helps us accomplish more. But what can we do to find connection?
Make Time for the Special Person in Your Life
Make time for the people in your life. Bearing in mind, that you can be lonely in a group and lonely in a relationship, so be present and ‘really in’ these moments.
Take time for introspection. Learn about yourself, explore your values and make conscious actions in your relationships that are in line with your value system.
Train to be better with relationships. We train for our career, or for a better body, why not for better relationships?
If you want a deeper level of connection, be open and have the courage to allow yourself to be ‘seen’.
Fear of rejection is one of the biggest inhibitors of connection, be in the stretch zone, take a risk and realise that people’s behaviours are about them, not you.
Going it Alone is Overrated – We are Social Animals
Sociologist Dr Brene Brown says that “One of the greatest barriers to connection is the cultural importance we place on ‘going it alone’. Somehow we’ve come to equate success with not needing anyone. Many of us are willing to extend a helping hand, but we’re very reluctant to reach out for help when we need it ourselves. It’s as if we’ve divided the world into ‘those who offer help’ and ‘those who need help’. The truth is that we are both.”
Competition – Win a one to one Skype consultation with Lemarc Thomas worth up to £400, to help you find love or improve the relationship you are in. The consultation is only available via Skype and there is no cash alternative. The editor’s decision is final. The closing date is July 31st 2017.
To enter the competition, please tell us which university has published a study that shows the importance of love for creating healthier, happier people. Leave the answer in the box below.
Lemarc has been an expert in the world of Matchmaking and Relationships for 6 years, and now spends most of his time coaching clients internationally to achieve their dreams.